Focus on the result you want
Often when I begin working with a client I find that there’s a lack of clarity about the outcomes or results they are seeking. People come knowing what they don’t want but struggle to tell me what they really do want? Why is this important?
To get what you want you must be clear about what it is you really want to have, or get more of, in your life. I call this framing in the positive.
All too often, we focus on the negative – what we don’t know, what we don’t like, what we don’t have or what we don’t want. For example: “I don’t have enough money” or ‘ I don’t want to be nervous for the interview”
A negative focus tends to limit our resourcefulness. When the negative is the focus we actually ‘program’ ourselves to get what we don’t actually want. This is because our mind struggles to ‘pull towards’ the outcome that we would really like. In fact it pulls towards what we don’t want.
If someone says to you, ‘Don’t think about a green frog drinking a martini’, we are likely to bring up a picture of a green frog in our minds (and if we are good at visualising it will be sipping a martini).
We can really alter some of the outcomes we get in life if we begin to focus on what we want, rather than on what we don’t want. Furthermore, we can increase the chances of it happening if we ground it our senses, especially visualising the end result and then take small concrete steps to bring it into reality.
We can understand this better if we think of an elite athlete training for an event.
- They begin by being focused on what they want to achieve (e.g. win a medal)
- Then they get a sense of it happening
- Then they undertake training to complete it.
When we leave part of this process out we decrease the likelihood of success.